True Best Friends Forever

We all know that forever is a long time and that is it not always possible to be True Best Friends-Forever.  Oh yes, I have a friend whom I have know for a very long time and it is a wonderful, lasting friendship.  We have experienced many ups and down, mostly ups I will say, but as any friendship goes, there are times when life changes and we may be in different cities or different places of life. Our friendship has endured and survived many issues of everyday life. I had a Nursery School when her children were young and they were nutured and loved by me, as my own.  There are so many things that has taken our friendship to all levels and places that some people never share.  We have a bond, something good, something real and something lasting.

I also had a childhood friend that I grew up with, we went to the same school, we played together and we stayed together.  I loved her family and enjoyed our time together.  I can say that I do not know if she loved my family or not but something happen in this friend's life that changed her forever. I will call her Lori, not her real name of course.  Lori went to nursing school, graduated, married and had 2 children of her own.  She was a really good Nurse and I worked at the same clinic with her for awhile.  We were close.  Our sons were almost the same age. One day, a tragedy happened, Lori's father was murdered.  It was an awful death and this would cause Lori to change forever, it seems.  I do not see Lori anymore, my life changed many times since then and no I haven't told you the whole story but it would take awhile and the point I am getting to here is not the exact circumstances of how Lori changed toward me but showing you that sometimes people change from trama that causes "forever" to go away.  She has her own life, a good life, just as I have a good life.  I will say this much, Lori became judgemental and could not except her own frailities, she denied them but would dwell on what other people had done and found no tolerance of them.  In other words when someone has to put someone else down to make themselves look good...you get the picture.

When I walked away from this friendship, I walked without blinking an eye at the time.  I never returned.  Did I ever think that I would make that kind of decision.  No! Am I sorry that it ended? Yes. Do I think it will ever be fixed? Probably not but I believe it is better to end a friendship than to let recentment build and become total enemies.  I have seen her, we have talked, not about anything personal or important, it will never be the same. 

True Best Friends Forever does exist as in my life, but then there are times that for one reason or the other, friendships end. It is sad, it can hurt and you will always remember the good times.  Things happen for a reason.  Let me give you something in closing to read and this can relate to any kind of friend or friendship or relationship, it is truly wonderful.  I carry this in my purse and occassionally re-read..I hope you like it.

Comes the Dawn

  After awhile you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security, and you
begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises, and you begin to
accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of a woman,
not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build all your roads on today, becuase tomorrow's ground is too
uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting
for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong,
and you really do have worth,
and you learn and learn....
With every goodbye, you learn.

**Author Unknown

Sometimes we say goodbye; even when we have been True Best Friends Forever.

God Bless and you might like personal growth and perfection.

True Best Friends-Don't Lie

I get excited when writing about True Best Friends and especially about why True Best Friends-Don't Lie.  That is to each other!! No, not anyone should lie period but I am almost sure we all have.  Is it ever necessary to lie to a friend, my answer is simply, no!  I am probably being a little forward here in telling you what I think but for me there is no circumstance that would be best to tell my True Best Friend a lie.  I know what your are thinking here.  You are thinking that I am wanting to possibly hurt someone by telling them an awful truth they did not know about their spouse and it make their life miserable or possibly causing an action that could effect the rest of their life.  No, don't lie but sometimes it is best to "shut your mouth" and "mind your own business".  Having said that; this would be a situation that I for one would pray about intensely.  There may be times when the circumstance are not good anyway, there may be times when you may think someone else's life is one way and it be totally different than preceived.  True Best Friends are sometimes strange as to what they reveal about their personal relationships. For one reason or another they do not tell the whole story, not so much a lie, but what goes on at home, they leave at home.  This is not all bad and a very good idea in so many instances.  Also, a True Best Friend may think that they do not feel an emotion when telling you they don't care about something within their relationship,when really it is all about their frame of mind at that moment.  For instance;  Jane may say she doesn't care if Johnny finds a new women friend because she is unhappy anyway.  Jane may have had a argument that day and is feeling a little remorse "only".  Most any spouse does care about these kinds of things, period, dot.  Let it happen and you will find out.  You have to be sure, you know what you think know.

It is not considered a lie to "keep your mouth shut".  I do not feel that you should willfully hurt someone when you do not know all of the circumstances.  It could have been a one night stand...ONE.  Should it have happened? I won't even answer that...you know that one already.  It might not ever happen again, and for someone who absolutely has no pattern or shown any kind of clue, it probably will not.  I have seen this happen.  I do not think it is my duty to play God.  This day and time, telling a friend their spouse is unfaithful could be the worst thing one could do. This I say because I have seen some circumstances that it would have been better if they found it out themselves or never knew it at all.

To other areas that call for the truth no matter what, I say that if a friend needs to change the the way she dresses, I am probably going to tell her, if she ask.  If my friend needs to be a better wife and she ask my opinion, I am going to tell her the truth.  True Best Friends-Don't Lie when ask for the truth and when the truth will help them, it should be given.  I try to speak the truth when it is necessary always, but then again I can find other ways to say what needs to be said without hurting them more than is necessary.  That is at the heart of doing what is right.  We should never want to cause someone grief or hurt their feeling.  On serious matters, we just have to know when to speak and when not to speak.  True Best Friends don't lie but neither do they compromise their friendship by being almighty. What is love?

My opinions are my opinions and they may not agree with yours.  I do not think I have all of the secrets to the actions of True Best Friends and when they should not lie.  I do believe that if you love someone and you know they are hurting themselves by their actions, you should always speak the truth to help them. Somethings are better left unsaid, I have learned this the hard way.  The most difficult part of being True Best Friends and not lying, is to know when something is better left alone.

"About Me"

I am one of those people who hangs on to other people for a very long time.  That is, if the other person will allow it.  Of course that is not always possible.  When I say I am your friend, I try to prove it by staying in touch and being there for you in time of need.  I have friends from long ago.  We do not talk every day or every month, sometimes we may not talk for a year...but when we talk it is a soul renewal for us both. 

Yes, of course I have one "true best friend" everyone does, but I do not go around telling my other friends they are not my "true best friend".  That is not necessary for either of us and no, not all of my friends need to be my "true best friend".  They have "true best friends" of their own and I am not in least jealous.

I have friends that will always be in my mind though I may never talk to them again, yes I have a lot of friends but yes only one best friend.  I think that all of us living feel the same way except my sister Gay.  Gay doesn't make friends easily and therefore she and her husband spend all their time together.  That is definitely okay by me, but she also is "best friends" with our Mother as she can tell her anything.  We are all unique and different and that is why we are like we are. 

Now, more about me....I love to write, I enjoy reading, I believe in God and Santa.  I believe that God heals and I know beyond a shaddow of a doubt that He died on the cross for our sins.  I am a Christian and try to live the best life I can, but then; I am only human.

If I were rich I would help the poor and try to bring peace to a world that is suffering .  I think that we are all here for a purpose and we should give what we can to bring hope to those who are struggling. 

I am a firm believer that to be successful we must know that we are not better than anyone else and that others have a contribution to our success.  We are nothing without the help of others, be it family, friends, co-workers and even people we do not necessairly like.  We contribute to others and they contribute to us.

I also believe that there is nothing that one can't accomplish, if they try.  I do not think it is ever too late to start learning something new and that life is what we make it at any age.  There is nothing all that great "about me" but I at least keep trying to be the best that I can be.

True Best Friends

True Best Friends

I am sure that everyone has their own definition for a True Best Friend. For that matter, most of us have a best friend, one that stands out above all the rest. Okay, maybe there are a few that have more than one best friend and then a few more that have a bunch of best friends.  Nevertheless when I read this personal development, I know that we all have to grow personally to become more friendly.

I can only wonder what it would be like to have a bunch of best friends. I have never had a bunch of best friends. I have had a lot of friends but only one true “best friend”. Let me explain what I consider the difference of friends and of a best friend.

It is the quality of a person that makes you want to say someone is a best friend and keep them. When we go shopping we do not want to buy anything that does not have the quality we want so that it will last a long time or forever, do we? What is quality? Quality is the distinctive characteristic or nature, attribute, fineness and excellence of anything; description in dictionary.com. You may not think about your friendships, life I do but at some point in time, you may have to. There could come a time when a friend may say goodbye and you may not understand, they could leave without saying goodbye but if you call them a “best friend”, you will then have to decide; were they really. When thinking about the attributes of someone that is considered a “true best friend” here is a list of some attributes:

• Genuine * genuine has some characteristics of quality also and then we add: not counterfeit, authentic, real, free of pretense, affectation or hypocrisy
• Honesty
• Ability to Listen
• Unselfish
• Promotes others rather than self
• Stands up for their friend when necessary
• Faithful
• forgive

There are times when a person must step back and review the situation at hand to know what their roll is and we must realize that sometimes even True Best Friends make bad mistakes and need guidance from those who love them. Being genuine is that we are consistent and do not walk away when someone fails; unless of course there is no other alternative. That could happen, but people make mistakes because of other people’s action sometimes, not of their own will and it is then we must know the difference.

It is hard to be honest with a friend who is hurting, but then it might take a bit of honesty for them to step outside of their situation and see things differently to revive from their hurt. A friend always listens and after listening, takes in all the facts, doesn’t take sides but reveals what is true. A true best friend is one who can talk to you about something personal and tell you in a loving way that you are wrong. A true friend, best friend will always tell you the truth when asked. It is also important for true best friends to have a life outside of the friendship. If you are truly best friends you just have a knowing that they are there for you regardless of what the day holds or the week or the month. At some point, they will be there, sooner or later. Best friends do not judge, they praise, they compliment, they coach, they mentor, they listen, they hurt and cry with you. A true best friend will be your friend even if someone else doesn’t like you; they will be your friend in the “crowd” as well as alone.


This is my list of the characteristics of a non-best friend:

• Jealousy
• Self-promotion
• Talks about you to other friends
• Doesn’t keep your secrets
• Think they are superior to you
• They go along with the crowd
• They think that “that how much “money” you have defines you
• They are back and forth and only there when it is convenient
• Do not forgive
• They profess to be your friend but when they are needed, you can’t find them
• Their character is weak and they don’t find good things to say about you or others

The list could go on and I am sure you have some of your own. “True Best Friends” are hard to find in my experience. When we are young we seem to have more than one, but as we grow older we realize that some friends we had, were just that; a friend. Sometimes it is of our best interest that someone walks away, sometimes it hurts us to the core. Sometimes we cause it and then we must take responsibility for our actions and make sure we never do that again.

In light of what we have talked about in these pages, I have one “True Best Friend”. She has always been there to give her support of what I try to do, even though she may not understand it. She has been there for me when I have been in need, more times than I can recall. She does not share our friendship with anyone else; meaning she does not talk about me to others. She is not jealous of my accomplishment, how I look and she does not condemn me in any way. We share so much, having been friends for so long. Yes, she has also forgiven me for a grievance that I partially caused. No, I did not mean to and she knows that. I believe it has made our friendship stronger. She also has other friends; do I think that they are her best friends? No, but she does not discuss those friends with me, and I do not expect her to. She sees the good in all of her friends and it doesn’t matter what someone else thinks. She has a strong character, she is stable, she is successful but modest and she has a sense of duty to help those who can’t help themselves. She is a “True Best Friend” and will remain that forever.