True Best Friends

True Best Friends

I am sure that everyone has their own definition for a True Best Friend. For that matter, most of us have a best friend, one that stands out above all the rest. Okay, maybe there are a few that have more than one best friend and then a few more that have a bunch of best friends.  Nevertheless when I read this personal development, I know that we all have to grow personally to become more friendly.

I can only wonder what it would be like to have a bunch of best friends. I have never had a bunch of best friends. I have had a lot of friends but only one true “best friend”. Let me explain what I consider the difference of friends and of a best friend.

It is the quality of a person that makes you want to say someone is a best friend and keep them. When we go shopping we do not want to buy anything that does not have the quality we want so that it will last a long time or forever, do we? What is quality? Quality is the distinctive characteristic or nature, attribute, fineness and excellence of anything; description in dictionary.com. You may not think about your friendships, life I do but at some point in time, you may have to. There could come a time when a friend may say goodbye and you may not understand, they could leave without saying goodbye but if you call them a “best friend”, you will then have to decide; were they really. When thinking about the attributes of someone that is considered a “true best friend” here is a list of some attributes:

• Genuine * genuine has some characteristics of quality also and then we add: not counterfeit, authentic, real, free of pretense, affectation or hypocrisy
• Honesty
• Ability to Listen
• Unselfish
• Promotes others rather than self
• Stands up for their friend when necessary
• Faithful
• forgive

There are times when a person must step back and review the situation at hand to know what their roll is and we must realize that sometimes even True Best Friends make bad mistakes and need guidance from those who love them. Being genuine is that we are consistent and do not walk away when someone fails; unless of course there is no other alternative. That could happen, but people make mistakes because of other people’s action sometimes, not of their own will and it is then we must know the difference.

It is hard to be honest with a friend who is hurting, but then it might take a bit of honesty for them to step outside of their situation and see things differently to revive from their hurt. A friend always listens and after listening, takes in all the facts, doesn’t take sides but reveals what is true. A true best friend is one who can talk to you about something personal and tell you in a loving way that you are wrong. A true friend, best friend will always tell you the truth when asked. It is also important for true best friends to have a life outside of the friendship. If you are truly best friends you just have a knowing that they are there for you regardless of what the day holds or the week or the month. At some point, they will be there, sooner or later. Best friends do not judge, they praise, they compliment, they coach, they mentor, they listen, they hurt and cry with you. A true best friend will be your friend even if someone else doesn’t like you; they will be your friend in the “crowd” as well as alone.


This is my list of the characteristics of a non-best friend:

• Jealousy
• Self-promotion
• Talks about you to other friends
• Doesn’t keep your secrets
• Think they are superior to you
• They go along with the crowd
• They think that “that how much “money” you have defines you
• They are back and forth and only there when it is convenient
• Do not forgive
• They profess to be your friend but when they are needed, you can’t find them
• Their character is weak and they don’t find good things to say about you or others

The list could go on and I am sure you have some of your own. “True Best Friends” are hard to find in my experience. When we are young we seem to have more than one, but as we grow older we realize that some friends we had, were just that; a friend. Sometimes it is of our best interest that someone walks away, sometimes it hurts us to the core. Sometimes we cause it and then we must take responsibility for our actions and make sure we never do that again.

In light of what we have talked about in these pages, I have one “True Best Friend”. She has always been there to give her support of what I try to do, even though she may not understand it. She has been there for me when I have been in need, more times than I can recall. She does not share our friendship with anyone else; meaning she does not talk about me to others. She is not jealous of my accomplishment, how I look and she does not condemn me in any way. We share so much, having been friends for so long. Yes, she has also forgiven me for a grievance that I partially caused. No, I did not mean to and she knows that. I believe it has made our friendship stronger. She also has other friends; do I think that they are her best friends? No, but she does not discuss those friends with me, and I do not expect her to. She sees the good in all of her friends and it doesn’t matter what someone else thinks. She has a strong character, she is stable, she is successful but modest and she has a sense of duty to help those who can’t help themselves. She is a “True Best Friend” and will remain that forever.